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Writer's pictureEmily Rose

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There's that mom guilt again... holding one twin longer than the other, giving one more attention, picking one up before the other, the list goes on. It's hard to not feel guilty for giving one more of something (including attention) than the other.


There are moments, and often days, where I feel closer to one baby over the other. Sometimes there's just a sweet closeness. And sometimes I look at one and think "Why do you hate me?" This is the part of parenthood I'm still getting used to. Don't get me wrong, I love them with my whole heart; but I seem to understand them differently, and at different moments throughout the days, weeks, and months.


I've also noticed that my family and friends feel like they need to bond exactly the same amount with each baby. But this is real life, and we don't get along with everyone the same way. As the babies are getting older, their personalities are emerging, and with that comes the beautiful bonds between them and their loved ones. And I've had to tell my family that it's okay to get along better with one than the other. I cannot stress enough how important it is to recognize this. It doesn't mean my son or daughter is less loved by someone. It simply means their personality meshes better with someone else's.


These babies are going to grow up to have their favorite aunt or uncle, their favorite family friend, and their own friends for that matter. So while there is some guilt around clicking with one over the other, it doesn't mean they are getting less attention. They are twins, so it is crucial to recognize their individuality and their different physical and emotional needs as tiny humans.


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