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Living Like Two Single Parents

Updated: Feb 18, 2020

Man-to-Man Coverage

Let me just preface this with saying my husband and I are still married and very much in love. This is our story on how we handled having two newborns, one being a heart baby.

Taking care of a newborn is hard work. Taking care of newborn twins will kill you. That is, if you don't have a system down. So many people told us "you'll have your hands full" and "I hope you have help" which, frankly, got to be very frustrating. However, it is true. These little babies don't care how tired you are, when the last time you ate or showered, they will just work you to death - much like a tiny drill sergeant.

There is hope, and you will survive!

Once you find a system that works for you and your partner, you'll move into a rhythm and slowly you'll start to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Here is what worked for us:

At first, our babies were eating every 3 hours, which is totally normal. After waking, changing, changing again because they peed during the first change, getting the bottle ready, feeding, burping, feeding, burping, and putting back down... you have about an hour before the insanity starts again. We wanted to keep them on the exact same schedule all the time, but that is very difficult to maintain if just one parent is on duty. We've tried spacing them out by a half hour, and also failed.

Scheduling was just not our thing.

During the day, we have lots of activities to do, play mats to play on, tummy time, etc; but at night, it's just feeding and sleeping. So we decided at night to each take a baby, and sleep in separate rooms. If they're not going to be on the same schedule, then someone is always awake. If we were going to sleep in the same room, no one would sleep. I took Savannah, my husband took Jack, and we parted our ways for the night.

We were basically two single parents living together.

Occasionally we'll see each other if there's an overlapping feeding, but for the most part, we kiss goodnight and see each other in the morning! Eventually Savannah moved to 4 hour stretches, then 5 hour stretches, and now 6 hour stretches at night; and let me tell you, it's GLORIOUS! But Jack, being a heart baby, had to stay on a strict feeding schedule to maintain his weight gain.

We are at 5 months now (1 month post-Glenn) and both babies are sleeping through the night. I usually get Savannah up to feed her at midnight to ensure a good 6 1/2 hours of sleep afterwards. We've all slept in the same room twice now, but if Jack falls asleep downstairs, my husband will just stay down there throughout the night.

This odd system worked, and was easiest for us. Yes, people will tell you schedule, schedule, schedule! But sometimes, that just doesn't work out. The important thing is to find what works for you and your babies. You'll get through the first few months, I promise! And those glorious 6 hour stretches will happen! You got this, mama!

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